Things My Mother Didn’t Tell Me
Things My Mother Didn’t Tell Me
Jan Becker
Mom never really said much
about condoms.
She just handed me a case when I was about
sixteen and said,
“Here, make sure that you use them.”
They were ribbed and
lubricated. Danny,
my brother,
and I made giant water balloons
that we
dropped
like hand grenades
on our little sister’s friends.
We found that we could stretch the condoms as wide as our heads
and wore them as hats.
We thought we were
making a fashion statement
until we discovered,
that it was next to impossible
to get the lubricant
out of
our hair.